Smart Goals Work
As parents, we need to teach self-discipline to our children every day. My kids are all grown and out of the house now, but when they were young, we used to drill into them a four-part definition of self-discipline that was formulated by Bobby Knight, the former head basketball coach at indiana University.
"Self-discipline," Knight said, "is doing what needs to be done; doing it when it needs to be done; doing it the best it can be done; and doing it that way every time you do it." My nineteen children could all recite that statement forward and backward, because they had heard it hundreds of times.
When Bobby Knight coached at Indiana, he would bring successful people from all walks of life to talk to his players about the discipline and attitude needed for success. On one occasion, Coach Knight brought in a cellist. That's right, a classical musician, a cello player. When his players heard that they were going to get a motivational lecture from a cellist, they wondered if Coach Knight had lost his mind. But after hearing the cellist speak, the players all agreed with their coach: this man was one of the smartest invitations Coach Knight had ever made.
The musician's name: Janos Starker. The Budapest-born performer has earned fame around the world as "the king of the cellists." Born in 1924, he has taught at the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music since 1958, and he teaches there to this day, holding the title of Distinguished Professor.
Janos Starker told the players that he had been playing cello since age six. He didn't choose a life in music; his mother chose it for him – but very early in life, he realized that a life in music was all he wanted. He wanted to listen to music, make music, and think about music all day long. He told the players that it came to him at an early age that "anyone who can go through a day without wanting to be with music or hear music or make music is not supposed to be a musician."
Furthermore, he said, "I believe that to be valid for every single profession. If you can go through a day without wanting it or thinking it or living with professionalism in the profession that you are in, you are not supposed to be in it." That, of course, is exactly what it means to practice extreme focus to achieve your dreams.
As he grew older, Janos Starker shut everything out of his thoughts except his concentration on his music. Everything he listened to, thought about, read about, or devoted his attention to was music. When he went onstage to perform his music, nothing else existed – not the audience, not the concert hall, not the stage – just the pure sound and emotion of the music itself.
"Discipline means concentration," Jenos Starker told Coach Knight's players, "and concentration means discipline. Discipline means that you have a routine that you follow with total conviction of priority … The practice is just as important as the moment when you are in front of everybody."
He asked what the parallels were between music and basketball. The musician spends a lifetime developing skills in order to find the proper note. The basketball player trains for a lifetime in order to find the basket. The musician must practice thousands of hours to acquire the skills and build the strength to play the challenging music, because the fingering and bowing of the instrument demand considerable dexterity and muscle power from the musician. "We are hitting strings with the fingers," he said, "sometimes at the speed of two thousand notes per minute."
Self-discipline is essential to both the cello player and the basketball player, because the time inevitably comes when the coach is not there to give instructions. The player must have every skill and habit imprinted in his brain and body. During a performance or a game, there is no time to stop and think about what to do next. The player must respond reflexively and fluidly in order for the performance to be successful. And that demands self-discipline.
"When I watch you guys," Jenos Starker concluded, "sometimes I notice that artistry and grace are involved, and the fluency of motions that we are doing in music. How to improve it and to make it consistent is what we are all trying to do in every field. That's … the discipline that is required.''
Whether in music or in basketball, whether you are writing a novel or righting social wrongs, whether you dream of owning your own little antique store or a global corporation, whether you want to make a billion dollars or serve the poor, you must discipline yourself for success, you must devote yourself to an extreme focus on your goals and dreams. Everyone has dreams. Those who are self-disciplined make their dreams come true.
Focus On Things You Can Control
My daughter Karyn won the Miss University of Florida competition in the spring of 2001, and that summer she finished as first runner-up in the Miss Florida pageant. After the pageant, she was offered a recording contract opportunity. Karyn pursued the dream, but in time, when the doors to a singing career remained shut, she eventually found herself working in a real estate office, answering phones.
One day, she read this anonymous quotation at the bottom of an e-mail she received from a friend: "No one can go back and make a brand-new beginning, but anyone can start right now to make a brand-new ending."
That little quote was like the sky opening up for Karyn. She instantly realized that she had the power to take control of her own life. She went back to the University of Florida and got her degree in radio and communications, then moved to Nashville to pursue her dream of singing, songwriting, and inspirational writing.
In 2009, Karyn signed a publishing deal with Brentwood Benson/Universal Music Publishing – huge affirmation of her talent as a songwriter. Then in 2010, she signed a contract with Nashville's Mission House Music Label Group. Her first single, "Rejoice" was released in the summer of that year and her first full-length studio album is set for release in early 2011. I'm so glad that Karyn didn't give up on her dreams. I'm proud of her for writing a brand-new ending to her story.
As we pursue our extreme dreams and goals, there are some things we can control and other things over which we have no control. Unfortunately, many people are easily lured off course. Instead of controlling what they can control, they fret and obsess over factors and conditions that are totally beyond their control. Successful people control what they can and let go of the rest.
Legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden recalled that his father, Joshua Wooden, gave him some very good advice when he was a young man – though John didn't understand the advice until he was older. His father told him, "Johnny, remember this and remember it well: Never try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be. You have control over that. Not the other." In other words, you control your own effort, but you can't control what other people do.
Tennis champion James Blake received a similar word of life-changing advice from his father, At age thirteen, Blake diagnosed with severe scoliosis, a deformative spine. He had to wear a confining and painful back brace during every waking hour, except while on the tennis court. lnspired by his hero, Arthur Ashe, James Blake kept reaching for his tennis dreams. In 2001, he achieved an important milestone by being named Rookie of the Year. He seemed destined for.
Then, in 2004, disaster struck. While playing a practice match in Italy, Blake ran to return a drop shot when his foot caught on the playing surface. He tripped and flew headfirst into a steel net post, colliding with a loud, sickening sound. He fell to the ground stunned, unable to catch his breath. He had fractured his neck.
Later, he became thankful for that broken neck. Because of his injury, he flew back to the States for treatment (he had planned to spend the next few months in Europe). Soon after his arrival in Connecticut, he learned that his fifty-seven-year-old father, Tom Blake, was dying of stomach cancer.
Before Tom Blake died, he gave James this advice: "You cant control your level of talent, but you can control your level of effort." After recovering from his accident, James Blake returned to the game with a new level of focus and intensity, and he became a more dominant player than ever before. Most important of all, he remembered his father's advice: no matter what happens in your life, regardless of the factors beyond your control, you can always control your effort. To learn more, you can check out Smart Goals Work.
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